Bandage or Scar?
by Untitled-Document
Summary: This was just a random idea for a one-shot. If it's liked then I'll add to it. The female character doesn't have a name because she isn't important, as you will see when you read. Please be nice. Also please review but only creative critiques.


The side of the bed was still warm. He had probably only been out of bed for thirty minutes at the most. Normally she rolled over and just went back to sleep-she knew his sleeping habits were…peculiar, to put it kindly. But after being married for three months this was starting to grate on her nerves.

On the few occasions that she woke up and found that he was still in bed, he was always dreaming. And he spoke when he was sleeping. She never told him although his mumbling kept her awake for hours. When he would wake up and roll out of bed she would be rolled away from him and pretend to be asleep. Although it wasn't like he ever checked on her. When he looked at her it was like standing to close to a raging fire and being scorched.

It was amazing how one man's simple mumbling could destroy someone's ability to find rest. Last night had been no different and this night, although she had slept through it-there was no doubt in her mind that he was mumbling in his sleep again. And that he had ignored her when he left the room.

Three months of marriage.

It was time to put an end to this. And if it ended her so called marriage well then that was something she was willing to deal with. Or at least had to be willing to lose.

So she sat up in the rumpled sheets and grabbed a pair of pants out of her dresser and walked to the kitchen where she found Levi sitting with a cup of hot tea in front of him.

He had heard her coming, his head turned ever so slightly to the right and he watched her from the corner of his eye before turning his head back and drinking his tea before speaking to her.

"You should be asleep."

She didn't joint him at the table but instead walked to the wall off to his right and leaned against it. "So should you."

"I don't sleep." He said simply. "What are you doing up?' the fact that there was no real concern in his voice wasn't as surprising or hurtful as it should have been. She'd grown used to the cold way he spoke to her. She wondered if it was worse with her or if he spoke to everyone as if they were a bothersome stain that he couldn't scrub away.

"I got cold. It's a little hard to stay warm in an empty bed."

"I don't sleep." Was his reply as he sipped his tea and seemed to expect her to leave. When she didn't he actually turned his head all the way to face her and looked at her with an almost confused face.

"Levi, how long have we been married?"

"Three months, why?" he picked his cup up and brought it to his lips but the lack of sound gave away that it was just an act and that his mind was churning with confusion.

"Because there's an important thing people do after they get married called 'consummating'-and you're a smart man, I'm sure I don't have to tell you what that means."

His eyes became slits for a fraction of a second before he looked away and took a long, possibly painful gulp of his steaming drink. Thinking of a reply.

"I've been tired."

"Because you don't sleep." She said for him and fought the urge to walk over and shake him to bring out some sort of emotion. It was like she had married a brick wall. But three months ago it hadn't been that way.

"You know, on the rare occasions when you _do_ sleep," she couldn't help the agitation that had seeped into her voice. "You talk."

"No I don't." he said suddenly sounding vexed.

"Yes, you do. Not much though. You mumble I suppose. It's never even a full sentence which is shocking given your talent with words." His eyebrows furrowed together. "Would you like to know what it is you say?"

"Since it seems so important-yes." His words were clipped.

"Petra." Saying the name caused her physical pain. She had never wanted to admit that _her husband_ was dreaming about another woman-dead or not. He could say whatever he wanted but she had a strong feeling that those dreams were the reason he didn't sleep.

And the reason he hadn't touched her since the second they got married.

The cup fell from Levi's hand and spilled its dark contents all over the table causing a stream that waterfalled off the side. He either didn't notice or didn't care. His eyes were huge and he stared at her, maybe through her.

"I don't-"

"You do. Every night. You didn't used to but now?" she shrugged, burying the anger that was growing in her chest. Instead she walked over to the table after grabbing a small towel and drying his spilt tea.

"Levi, why do you think I retired?"

"Because you got tired of there being no end to those things." He didn't say it like a question but it hung in the air like one.

"Subconsciously maybe but that wasn't the driving force. I retired because I lost my entire squad. I watched as they were slaughtered like sheep. I know what it feels like to lose the people that mean the world to you. It's like being shot over and over again."

Levi looked at the table and stayed silent.

"So you try to find a way to heal. But…sometimes you can't find it. So you find a way to patch the wound as best as you can instead of actually finding a way to heal it. Instead of letting it scar and move on you keep ripping it open instead of letting it heal. You keep putting bandages on it."

He nodded which would have seemed odd under normal circumstances. But for this one, it didn't. He was accepting what she said without argument.

"I have a question for you and I want an honest answer."

He looked up at her with wide, confused and sad eyes. He looked pained and that would have hurt her on any other night but not this one. This needed to happen.

"Am I the bandage…or the scar?"

He was silent for a long time. An incredibly long time-until the sun came up and washed the dim kitchen in its unfitting bright and happy light. After a while he looked up at her and said in a weak, dry, croaking voice,

"I don't know."


End file.
